Travel Notes- unedited

 Pa: all up hill unless you’re going the other way

Ohio: it is there, nice folk

Indiana: scary gary

Chicago: friendly confines for a reason, easy to get around, more revolving doors than expected, love the cubs, clean, alleyways, karaoke band, gonna need to clap your hands and stomp your feet

Iowa: nice state to drive through, clean rest stops, little cities to mark progress, tons of wind turbines, waves of corn

Nebraska: terrible rest stops, Lincoln is generic city, “center” of universe, yuppie college town, mail order bride, plasma

Colorado: sky meets earth, roads off highway look like truck commercials, Boulder is the yuppie capital of the world, columbine high school shakes you, rain doesn’t have to fall far in Rockies 

Utah: exits to nowhere, deserts to mountains, no bad views, springs smell like eggs, Zion is Zion, take the quick way down, wryly coyote 

Nevada: empty awful desert, Vegas is all the worst parts of Times Square on steroids, everyone has ideas of what to do, heat at night feels like the ghost of the day

California: inland is Death Valley for a reason, San Diego is too perfect, feel like giving up when you get there, great for retirement, homeless people just chilling, LA traffic is as advertised, ten lanes bumper to bumper, everywhere is a drive but it’s impossible to drive there, the oc deserved the show wicked nice wicked expensive, military might be taking over

Arizona: desert but a livable vibe like yeah it’s hot but we’re not soft and this is home for us, gcu is a maximum security prep prison, north is beautiful, live in wrong place

Sounds of emptiness not familiar can trick to feel like home

New Mexico: aliens might live there, meth makes sense, funky looking, half leaning into fun space neon lights and kitschy stuff

Texas: west is for cowboys and oil, nice folk, nothing to do but drink, flat, Austin is the best college town, they’re making something

Nathan fielder type travel show

Louisiana: Swamp where people try selling you coke, driving into the ocean

Alabama: nice girls, douche guys, more buffets than you could ever eat at, every possible fast food option

Mississippi: burning man of college football tailgate, nasty southerners, feel the racism

Tennessee: perfect level of south and country, friendly folks who have fun, Nashville is a place for everyone to visit and think they’re the main character

Kentucky: nothing but bourbon and ponies

Wisconsin: beer and cheese with funny warm accents, they have a dark secret

Minnesota: stole my catalytic converter, hockey town every town, good folk basically Canada

South Dakota: empty, Mount Rushmore is underwhelming 

Wyoming: real cowboys and real stuff to see, devils tower belongs on the big screen, Yellowstone is most of the state and that’s probably right