Blackstone Death
They go six feet under, but six feet high in paperwork. More people than ever are dying and business is great, but we can't keep up. It seems straightforward: we get the cold cut, throw them in a box, and put them under dirt. No, no, no! The hospital skims some for pronouncing them dead, great work doc. They pay someone to drive them over. Arrangements are made to have only the best memorial: flowers, 100% oak box, prayer cards, embalmment, a couple creeps to walk around asking if the PowerPoint is okay, a hole near their people with your name, and a rock with a Tumblr quote. The Basic+ Package. Now of course you would hate the alternative because if we didn't own all this you would have to pay someone monopolizing the casket business, and the flower business, the embalming business, and the tombstone making business. Those devils would milk you dry. We've eliminated that. Since we own it all it is offered to you at one fair and reasonable ...
